oktoberfest (in november)...with a man-a short summary of the trivial differences between men and women on a daily basis

so, the man and i have rarely gotten out with the baby all together since the babe was born.  we typically try to do errands separately so we can get a break considering all 3 of us and the two dogs are literally in the house together all day every day (for those of you that don't know, i work from home).  anywho, he wanted to go to this ski swap thingie going on at  Pat's Peak.  so, after discovering that two of his friends couldn't go,  liam and i were invited.  nice.  sounds worse than it is for those sensitive folk.  it was slightly amusing the way he put his head down, "so you guys wanna go then?"  and i know it was more about him worrying about liam being outside since it was cold and me being too tired-well maybe.  i assured him, we'd be fine, and we journeyed out.

on the way out, i realized i forgot my sunglasses.  i told him i'd meet them in the car in a minute and scoured the house for either pair.  much to my dismay, i couldn't find them (didn't go upstairs to my office desk and the changing table where they would logically be hidden?).  i give up and walk outside assuming i'd just hop in the car.  i should have known not to take too long.  men left alone too long get ancy.  mine often starts projects.  so, i find him hanging out the passenger door seemingly trying to get some wire concoctions going through the sunroof of his truck.  i have learned over the past 5 years not to question these sort of things. it can only result in two paths:  1) a long convoluted story that i never wanted to know or 2) a fight

s-"so i'm driving?"
r-"yep" tosses me the keys and gets in car much quicker than i anticipated (phew)
s-"can't find my sunglasses:( "
r-"you can wear mine. (hands me a pair of small sunglasses that appear to stick to your eye like a bug) they can take a bullet you know"
s-"no thanks, i'm a girl"

commence driving.  man continues to fiddle with wires going through sunroof that is currently tilted up causing quite the breeze in what i considered arctic conditions-ok, maybe not arctic but close.  i finally find source of wires.  cb radio with that pleasant kkkkkkkkkk noise coming out as well as the loud woooosh from the wind coming in the roof.  so much for radio.  after maybe 5 minutes, i just can't help it.
s-"amm honey-what are you doing?"
r-"what do you mean?"
s-"well for starters, i think you're probably freakin the kid out-it's kinda loud....and cold"
r-"oh.  i can't close the roof all the way, but i'll close it mostly"
s-"so, is the cb new?"  (there were two reasons for this question.  my husband and i are both very juvenile when it comes to new things, we use them immediately.  i.e. i get a new shirt, i'm wearing it that day.  he gets a new toy, the world stops while he figures it out.  he however also knew the weight behind the question-if you spent money, you're in trouby)
r-"no way-ian and i use this all the time"
s-"amm, so why are you playing with it now?"
r-"well, the antenna is new...but it was only 5 bucks!!"
s-"can you stop?"
r-"no, i plan on having it on everytime i'm in the car"
long pause
s-"is this a test?  like, how far will this girl let me go?"
r-"hahaha, no unfortunately it's not a test steph"
s-"whatever"

the next ten minutes or so are spent with him doing fake broadcasts and putting the real boring-oops exciting ones up to my ear so i can hear them.  i reminded him for the second time that day that i was girl.

we get to the ski resort, and i find out that it's oktoberfest...in november-the place is packed!  we get out of the car and of course he wants to go home immediately rather than walk the 1/4 mile uphill-it's just too much for the baby, and it's freezing!  i again tell him that we're all fine (although i secretly wish i had put liam in a cuter/warmer outfit and am sorta worried about me walking up a hill).  positive thinking worked-i walked up-foot hurt a bit but not even winded and liam seems happy as a clam.  we get in the swap, man (my man) sees young girl trying to sell him ski boots.  i don't notice young girl at time and being the nice wife that i am, i offer to hold the kid so he can look around-kid shoved into my arms and man starts talking to girl about what he's looking for-ahhh, so that's why i got my kid shoved.   old lady approaches me and starts oohing and ahhing over my kid practically in tears at his adorableness-no seriously-it was amusing.  man has semi cute 18ish girl doting on his foot size, woman has someone fawning over her spawn.  man and woman both quite satisfactorily happy.

after man finds shoes to don on, we progress to the oktoberfest area.  i'm starving, he wants a beer.  he grabs some potato salad for me and goes in the beer line.  two dark beers delivered.  i drink a bit and pour the rest in his glass.  no likey?  no, i'm a girl-send me the wine.  obviously there's no wine at oktoberfest, and we're getting ready to depart anyway after watching this surprisingly hilarious magician.  we get back to the car by taking a "shortcut"-i'm not sure a man has ever had a shortcut that's actually shorter. 

i change liam at the car before the drive home.  i hand the man the diaper bag. 

s-"can you hold this for a minute?"
he puts it on the ground. 
s-"what are you doing?  i could have done that" 
r-"why do i have to  hold it?"
s-"because it's a few hundred dollars and that's gross"
r-"a few hundred dollars?!  no one KNOWS that and who would spend that?"
s-"i know that, and my friends that love us would do that"
r-"argh" picks up the bag

commence ride home.  i for some reason am now calculating these subtle differences.  we actually both had a great day but from such different perspectives.  next task, stop at bj's wholesale and pick up battery for lawn mower and diapers.  man-battery not available, therefore we must leave?  woman-we're here, might as well get what we need!  as is predicted, man can't shop for more than 5 minutes-even with the delicious free samples.  i think i compromised by only picking up diapers, baby food, soda, soup and maybe like 2 more things.  apparently i pushed it too far and we should have left when on a good note like george castanza.  i laugh at him, remind him that shopping is in a girls genes, we go home, put the kid to bed, make tacos and the world is well.  we both agree it's been a great day.

i remember my uncle told me you don't really know your spouse until after you're married.  this is fact.  i like to think that the man and i know each other pretty well, strengths and misgivings, but i don't think we will ever cease to surprise each other.