"birth is not only about making babies. it's about making mothers..."
so, i swore i would write here more, but mommyhood leaves us all with many surprises. when trying to think about significant things to write about, of course the first thought goes to liam as all my thoughts go to liam as of late. i've decided to write the story of lpm's birth. although graphic, scary, gross, and long, it was/is significant to me and feel i should write it down before i forget it or remember it entirely different as these things happen.
3/18/10-12:30ish am...i get up to pee. now for those of you 9 months pregnant, or a week or so overdue, or even the husband of a super preggo lady, this is far from significant. it is annoying, frustrating and happens every 10 minutes or so. however, this was very different. i actually peed-or so i thought. it was not the 3 second trickle that made me run, it was like a full blown 45 seconds! i thought this odd considering i hadn't done this in probably 7 months and wondered if my water had broke. i decided not because i ran to the bathroom and if it was indeed my water breaking it would have just come...right? maybe not. i then figured, i have a doctor's appt at 2 to get an ultrasound and the books say, you can wait 12 hours after your water breaks before going to the hospital if contractions haven't started...ok, i'll see what happens...go back to sleep.
3/18/10-8am, start work and wait for contractions...very mild and sporadic which had been happening for over a month now-no excitement.
3/18/10-1:30pm, go to doc to get ultrasound. drag richie just in case i have to get induced...ultrasound tech tells me two things: "you have no fluid but i can see he is breathing ok, i think they're gonna send you right over to the hospital...oh, and he has a big head even for 10 days overdue" with a little chuckle...now, if a woman is about to go into childbirth, is it really encouraging to say the kid has a big head?! ammmm-commence first real freak out about birth! meet with doc who says fluid sac still there and still just 1cm (wrong, sac never happened because it was deduced, my water must have broken in middle of night), doc sends me to hospital next door to start inducing process. i ask if i can go home first to get my bag, he says your husband can get your bag, just go to the hospital and check in. to be honest, i really wanted a cigarette which is the real reason i wanted to go home-just for a minute which would induce labor right? i'm embarrassed and ashamed to say that, but i was seriously freaking. well, i didn't go home-richie took over the freaking out role which of course made me focused on calming him down instead of me-as much as i wanted to slap him at the moment for being selfish (not an unfamiliar feeling during my pregnancy), it probably helped because i did calm down.
3/18/10 2:30pm, in a triage room pacing, trying to get contractions going. doc originally tells me he's going to put a pill down there that starts labor typically within 4 hours. 30 minutes later, he says he's going to put something on my cervix to induce labor within 12 hours. since i'm already having contractions he doesn't want to give me meds because it could get too intense and they wouldn't be able to stop it, this way, they could take the thingie out (i forget what it's called) if things get too bad. whatever-let's get this show on the road and get this dude out...so over pregnancy!
3/18/10-4pm-after a couple of hours of pacing, they finally put this doohickey thing in place and i wait...and wait...i text everyone i know and my friend comes by with snacks, magazines etc and sits with me for a couple of hours. totally ready for labor, i am strong-i've been through kidney stones, i am prepared for pain and ready to meet baby.
3/18/10-7:30pm-holy f'in owww. i call richie and tell him he needs to come, boring part is over, dogs are fed-get here pleeeeease. for the next couple of hours, contractions increase-really no fun at all but tolerable. by 10pm, getting to really not be tolerable but at least i get a real room now. contractions are constant, and i am only allowed to lay on my right side because baby's heart rate goes down if i lay any other way. for those of you that have been through labor, to stay in one position is hell-you NEED to move around. still only at 1 cm and not in full blown labor according to them. just in constant pain because i have no break from contractions AT ALL...mostly back pain. they give me something for the pain-can't remember names, doesn't work. they give me another dose, doesn't work. docs decide, i really need to sleep because they are going to give me pitocin in the morning and could have a long day ahead of me the next day. they give me ambien to try to get me to sleep. at this point i'm so f'd up considering all i've had during pregnancy is maybe two tylenol. i fade out and tell richie he should go home and get some rest too, i'll call him if anything is happening.
3/18/10-10:45pm well, i got a whopping 20 minutes of sleep before alarms start going off, and i'm up for good. my blood pressure is always low, but now it's so low, it keeps setting off damn alarms because it's below 70/40 or something-i'm annoyed because the nurses take too long (maybe a minute) to turn the alarm off, and i can't fall back to sleep with it on-it goes off every 20 minutes or less for the next 15 hours. by 11:30, i'm crying-this is sooooooooooo miserable. they give me more ambien and assure me the baby is fine with all these meds? doesn't work. the nurse decides it's her mission to get me out of pain. they give me morphine-yep morphine. doesn't work. she asks if i want to take a warm bath to try to relax. i say "anything"-she asks clothes on or off? really? i remember my sister telling me you don't care if your naked when you're in labor, and i couldn't have cared AT ALL who saw me then-just get me out of this freakin pain-or at least distracted. i get in for what i think is maybe 30 minutes. nurse checks on me after about 15 minutes, i'm fine in my own little world. 15 minutes later, get me the hell out of here. that stupid thing they put on cervix fell off-thank god! i think this will make the contractions slow down, apparently not. i yell for the nurse, but she doesn't hear me. k, you can hoist yourself outta here steph. i get out and flop on my bed like the whale that i have become completely exhausted and nurse walks in putting me back on all monitors within like 10 seconds-nice break.
3/18/10-1am-the next 4 hours are a blur-there's pain, there's 5 minutes naps, there's more tears.
3/18/10-5am-still only at a 2cm, but the nurse pushes the doc to give me the epidural because i'm so miserable, epidural person comes in. my friend told me she would never forget her epidural guy because he saved her. i honestly don't remember if i had a male or female-i don't remember when i called richie to come, i was in another world...epidural in spine...steph-don't move-don't get paralyzed on top of all this-don't have a contraction right now-just stay still...epidural complete. i swear i could hear angels singing (no, not really but it was sooooooooooo nice to be able to think again)-i was not in pain. i was tired, but i was not in pain-well not excruciating pain. k, time to wait again. tv on, ipod in hand. i am a HAPPY girl.
10:30am-6cm-initiate texts.
11:00am-9cm-it's time....
No comments:
Post a Comment