happy 4 month birthday

dear liam,

i can't believe you have already been here 4 months, and this is my first letter to you! i'm not sure you will ever get these, but i didn't have any questions about my "babyhood" until i had a baby, so i don't want you to have the same questions. although, there are some truths that should be kept from children, so i will try not to be TOO honest.

first note of importance that some children wonder about. you were wanted from the second you were conceived. there was another child before you though. just a few months before, but apparently it wasn't time for him or her (i always thought her). i can't even say that unfortunately they didn't make it anymore because after i found out she was gone, i never wanted to be a mom so much. a month later, you were made which would have been impossible without the loss, and i wouldn't take you back even for a second.

you should know that while you made me a mom, you have also made me a good mom. you have taught me everything i know. while i always wanted to be pregnant someday, the mom part was more than foreign to me. your dad used to call me an anomaly because i was the least domesticated girl he knew. 100% happy with a bagel on the go, and i can probably still count as many times i have cleaned a bathroom. (ask aunt jenny about our deal in college-i'd write her papers, and she'd clean my bathroom), but as you probably know by now i cook and clean and you probably could never imagine that one day i couldn't. but as you probably also know, your dad cooks and cleans better than me-you should remind him, maybe he'll do it more. in any case, you taught me to be a good mom because aside from your little scare in the NICU when you were born, you have been the happiest, healthiest, easiest baby i've ever known. you've been sleeping through the night for months, you smile and giggle all the time, and why you LOVE attention, you are perfectly content to be put down too. you're so easy to love that although i REALLY wanna give you a bro/sis, i'm worried because there's no way they could be as good as you!

don't get me wrong, i've definitely spent a couple of times in the rocking chair in your room with us both crying while i tried to will you to sleep. you will probably have the same with your baby-well maybe not the crying part-but your wife might-and it's perfectly normal!!! have her call.

important lesson number two-no matter what your future siblings tell you, you weren't adopted. you look just like your dad, and i like to think you got your easygoing nature from me. we also yawn the same way which makes me laugh. and we both love sleeping on our tummies. you do have your own things though-you get this really serious face especially when you're kicking which is hilarious to me and dad. you also hold your hand on your ear when you eat which of course also makes us laugh. and you squeal with all your might. daddy stays home with you right now while i work upstairs answering calls, and every once in awhile, i hear the cutest little squeal which is the best. anyway, i love you more than i could have ever imagined.

talk soon,
mom